After Dick left for his business/Labor Day Holiday vacation, I could honestly sense a change in the air in our home.
There was a lightness, calmness and an overall feeling of peace.
Maybe it was because I knew he wouldn’t be breathing down my neck for the next several days and I would be free from his sneakiness, manipulative actions and controlling ways.
In any event, I was enjoying whatever it was that I was feeling. Five whole days without Dick!!! I was like a kid whose parents were going out-of-town and would have the place to herself.
While I had no wild parties planned at our home, I was looking forward to an event coming up on the Saturday of the long holiday weekend. Friends of mine, whom I lost touch with several years earlier and recently reconnected with, were having an open house at their vacation home in a neighboring state.
I was happy that Ashley made plans with her friends to go to a local festival that day so at least I knew that she would be occupied while I was gone.
All of a sudden I was getting a taste of what being a single mom was going to be like…an introduction to my emerging status. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was actually excited and had something fun to look forward to!
On Saturday afternoon, I dropped Ashley and her friends off at the event. Then I drove to one of my friend’s house. She and her husband offered to take me to the open house so I wouldn’t have to go by myself.
Sitting in the backseat of their car, I suddenly felt alone and lonely. This was the first time in 26 years that I was going to a party without my husband. Even though Dick and I hadn’t gotten along for a number of years, there was a level of comfort in knowing that we would have each other at social events. This was my first solo experience. Sadness crept in and kept me company for the remainder of the ride.
When we got to our destination, I felt the melancholy start to lift. My friends’ home was right on the lake for which this popular resort town was named. Over the years, Dick, the kids and I would come here for little getaways or just to spend the day. Those were always good times.
It was time to create new memories!
A group was already there by the time we arrived and immediately I got caught up in conversation. Several of us meandered out to the dock and spent a leisurely afternoon enjoying the weather, food and drink. The view from the backyard was breathtaking. Before dinner we went out for a boat ride around the lake.
I was having the time of my life. Sitting around with old pals and new acquaintances, enjoying a sumptuous Italian spread of salad, pasta, lasagna, roasted vegetables, crusty bread, wine and decadent, mouth-watering desserts, while sharing lively discussions and non-stop laughter, I was beginning to relax, unwind and just enjoy the experience.
However, simultaneously it hit me like a Mac truck what I was missing for way too long, how much I put up with and how deprived I’ve been of all the things that mattered most to me: good friends, companionship, happiness, a feeling of belonging and fitting in and most important of all, being surrounded by people who made me feel alive and appreciated.
That evening glimpses of what my future life would be like were starting to reveal themselves.
All in all it was a great day…the first one I had in far too long.
Going through the divorce sure put a new perspective on things…actually, a wonderful perspective on things.
I realized that there will be so much to look forward to…
Once I get through all the crap I’m dealing with!