Timing is Everything


I believe that there are no accidents or coincidences in life. I also believe that everything happens for a reason and happens exactly when it is supposed to. The fact that I filed for divorce the day before my son, *Josh’s 21st birthday must have some significance in the grand scheme of things. At that moment however, I didn’t have the foggiest notion what it could have possibly been. I’m sure when the time is right for us all to know, it will make perfect sense. Or maybe not!!!

What I did know for sure was that Dick was trying to use what just occurred to his fullest advantage. As soon as the processor left, he turned to me and said, “This is the kind of person you are. You have to ruin  Josh’s birthday.” Of course he made sure that Ashley was standing right there and heard every word. I told him that I was forced to file for divorce that day because he took all of our life savings and put it in an account in his own name only. I had to protect Ashley and myself. I also told Ashley that my attorney wanted me to make sure that my kids knew what their father just did. Dick continued without flinching, “I was told to take all the money out of our account to protect myself from YOU.” Seething, I prodded him by asking, “Who exactly gave you this wonderful advice?” When he wouldn’t answer, I demanded, “Did your attorney tell you to do this?” Finally he admitted that his lawyer recommended this.

With my blood percolating through my system and ready to explode out of every orifice, I told him that no reputable attorney would advise his client to take all the marital money out of a joint account and open an account in his name only to spend any way he saw fit. I also made it clear in front of Ashley that we were supposed to have a discussion in a few months to determine if we should get a divorce at that point or wait until she graduated from high school. I wanted to know what his hurry was,  why he had to be so sneaky and pull what he did. As usual, he twisted and turned the story around and put the blame on me. It was no use. It’s impossible to reason with an unreasonable person.

Ashley couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears. I tried to console her. She wanted to be left alone. She sobbed, “Nothing is going to change. You two have talked about divorce for as long as I can remember. This will just keep going on and on like this forever.” I told her that this time things were different because I filed for divorce and the process was in motion.

As Josh wasn’t home yet, Dick and I needed to decide when the best time would be to tell him what was transpiring. For the first time in years, we  actually agreed on something. Both of us felt it was best to wait till after Josh’s birthday to share the news about the divorce so he could celebrate this major milestone in peace.

There was no sense spoiling things for Josh that day. Thankfully, he was having a great summer up to that point. In the fall, he would begin his senior year of college. Over the summer break he was fortunate to have a wonderful internship at a major corporation in our area. In addition to enjoying what he was doing, he had the added bonus of meeting a special girl who was also doing an internship there as well. They hit it off immediately and have been spending most of their free time together.

Like I said…timing is everything!

*Name has been changed.


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