Back in 2010, it became clear that my marriage had reached the terminal phase of existence. It had “DNR” written all over it. At that point there were no longer any signs of quality life left. The only humane thing to do was to “pull the plug.” As my luck would have it, the plug refused to disconnect easily. In fact, it took 18 long, slow, painful, shocking, drawn-out and miserable months to finally uncouple.
During the process my attorney advised me to document the events as they transpired. Whenever possible I tried to find the humor in the situation. Doing so provided me with a sense of normalcy in the face of the absurd. If I could laugh over my circumstances I knew that I could survive and ultimately thrive. I’m convinced that is what kept me going.
Why am I publically sharing such a personal, painful experience? What do I hope to gain by writing this blog? Why not let the past stay in the past? These are the questions I’ve been asked when I told others of my plans to write about my abusive marriage. The answers are simple: I don’t want to carry the grief and pain around inside me anymore. If I can help just one person who reads this and then finds the hope, courage and support necessary to move on from an abusive relationship, then my experience had a meaning and a purpose. I am not a victim. I am a victor!
This blog will be divided into three sections: The Divorce Process; The Five Years Post Divorce and Life Today.